Trope a Dope: Science Fiction Edition
Allow me, dear reader, to begin by saying: I like science fiction.
Now that that massive qualifier is out of the way, kindly allow me to continue with an equally massive (if not quite as girthy) but: I’m not a huge fan.
I’m…well, “discerning” may be the polite word, though “picky” is perhaps the more accurate. I peruse the Science Fiction section in my local bookstore the same way I might regard a vendor at a county fair offering me a cup of frozen pickle juice on a hot day: that is with equal parts vague interest and faint disgust.
Oh, I love classics like I, Robot or Dune, and just about anything by Michael Crichton, but while I love certain books and series within the genre there’s just something about science fiction overall that simply irks the living shit out of me.
What might that “something” be, you ask? Well, it’s a combination of things I’m afraid, and not all that easy to peg down.
After some (alright probably too much) soul searching before the tender flames of a dying fire with bourbon in hand, I’ve collected my top four red flags for what may ruin an otherwise glorious romp though science fiction.
Number Four: Physics, Schmysics
Look, I’m no scientist and chances are neither are you. We’re not going to be called to testify before congress to provide an in depth analysis on the concept of dark matter or the velocity of an unladen swallow but even you and I can tell that something defying natural laws such as gravity and inertia without explanation doesn’t make any gosh darn sense.
I feel this particular literary sin occurs more often in the “techy” side of science fiction where humans are so far advanced from where we are now their technology borders on the magical, but to me that only makes it worse.
If you’re going to be having a dude flying around in space with a jetpack shooting lasers it should be fun sure but not to the point where my monkey brain recognizes you’ve broken a cardinal law of reality without even attempting to justify it in-universe.
Stop trying to convince me your contrived ballistic coefficient for energy weapons makes sense and let me enjoy your story!
Number Three: The Philosopher’s Stoned
I’ll admit that nearly all good science fiction has at least a whiff of philosophy about it.
It’s part of the fun.
Shitty philosophizing however is more distracting than if there were none at all.
You know the stories I’m talking about. The ones that try to “wow” you with the revelation that murder is wrong or eugenics shouldn’t be taught to kindergartners or some shit. Call me old fashioned (or, better yet, make me one) but I just don’t think basic morality should be considered a world altering viewpoint.
Dig down and give me a deeper theme to chew on than what I could find in a freshman philosophy 101 course (please).
Number Two: You Are Forerunner.
Ah, precursor races, the….you know what? No. This one is just dumb as hell. Humans did not evolve on earth but were instead created by some superior race you say? Likely for nefarious purposes? I’m sorry, all I heard there was a muffled “blah blah blah” that made the teacher in Charlie Brown seem clear.
I have literally never seen this concept work. What I have seen is author after author try to shoehorn it into a story I’d been enjoying with the same resulting amount of pleasure derived from eating something soft and suddenly biting down onto something crunchy.
Please stop. Please. I beg of you: just do your thing. Your thing was fine! My eyes can only roll so hard and I feel like I’m close to straining something.
Number One: Man Was The Real Monster All Along
Irredeemable Humanity.
The cardinal sin of science fiction at its worst.
I’ll not lie to you, dear reader, the pure, unadulterated nihilism of this trope makes me want to call the author up and ask them “who hurt you?”
I get the appeal, mind you, of saying “alas we humans are the true monsters” but A) see Number Three above and B) we’ve been getting that lesson ever since we were old enough to comprehend an episode of Scooby Doo.
Furthermore, to blindly state we as a species have no redeemable qualities, no predilection toward good, that being presented with an obstacle ensures our inherently defaulting toward our collective basest and worst nature is at best wrong and at worst an insult to the human spirit.
We are capable of so much more, dear reader.
Humanity is capable of great atrocities and violence, yes, but we can learn from those mistakes. We transcend them to radiate auras of kindness and compassion. Yes, we can in fact build as well as destroy, and it is this, our better nature, that prevails throughout history, time and time again.
To reduce our accomplishments as a species to some coarse statement of greed, to smear the accomplishments we have both achieved and yet aspire to, THAT- that is why this is number one on my shit list.
It is unforgiveable in my eyes. It’s not so much a trope to me, you understand, but an affront. An insult.
Why write a story that condemns us all for the crime of being born? Why take our minds into the stars only to drag us through the mud? Why should we be told to hate ourselves when we are capable of so much good? Put simply: fuck that.
Am I Though
Anyway. Those are the worst of the worst in my opinion, dear reader. Take them for what they’re worth, and remember: even if you disagree the important thing is we’re both reading enough to form an opinion.
Until next time.