Dealing With The Negative Nancy

I Must Not Tell Lies

In an entirely unforseen twist of fate this little blurb is actually by special request of several subscribers (thank you for those of you who gave me permission to use your name but I haven’t heard back from everyone yet so anonymous thou shalt remain).

That being said: the unfortunately familiar set of questions received from those mentioned above (as well as others) are “do you get a lot of negativity as a writer?” quickly followed by “how do you deal with it when you do?”

For those of you not “in the know,” if you want to be a writer (or write in any capacity for fun and/or profit) you’re going to experience a lot of shittalking from outside sources.

For whatever reason there are just some people out there who do not want others to succeed. I’m not talking about your book getting a less than stellar review (hey, at least it got reviewed!) or getting a couple of rough comments from your  beta readers (they’re there to point out problems after all). No, I’m talking about straight up negativity you’re going to experience once you announce to the world that you’re writing a book.

Now, let’s make one thing clear: if you tell everyone that you’re writing a book, and that your book is going to be the next Harry Potter so they better start bowing to your genius now, you will have earned every sidelong glare and hurtful comment that is hurled your way. However, most writers I’ve met aren’t major assholes and so are somewhat blindsided by the amount of condescending and sometimes outrightly hostile comments thrown their way.

You’ll get people that will tell you that you can’t write a book, that you aren’t smart enough to write a book, that your book is unoriginal, or that you simply won’t succeed.

You name it, you’ll hear it.

I wish I was joking, dear reader, but I’m not. I, too, was taken by surprise by the amount of vitriol floating around toward writers as I had no idea it was such a contentious occupation. Here I thought writers just tried to entertain people.

Fuck me, right?

The cruel reality is someone you may not even know very well (or at all), or worse, someone you do, is likely going to take the time out of their day to come shit on you once they hear about what you’re doing.

Now I’m not advocating you achieve some sort of writerly Buddhist-like zen (and if you thought I was we clearly haven’t met), but instead I’m going to recommend you try this simple trick: don’t give a fuck.

No, seriously, that’s it.

Be polite, smile and nod. Thank them for their feedback, log that feedback, and then silently tell them to go fuck themselves as you let those shitty comments roll off you as water does a duck.

Then, once their slimy, withering words have completely rolled off, proceed to go about your day.

If, by some stroke of fate, the asshole in question brings up a valid point, I wouldn’t even engage with them about it. Instead, bring it back to your beta readers and ask them for their thoughts. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

I’ve talked to many a person about this strange phenomenon, dear reader, and the general consensus is that some people simply resent seeing others actually buck up and start moving toward achieving their dreams. Many people dream of writing a book but few actually get around to even starting let alone finishing one. Those bitter souls tend to be a little spiteful toward others they see doing what they cannot or would not do. So, rather than getting spitting mad (as I’ve seen some of you do online) instead pull a Mr. Miyagi and Wax On, Wax Off that pretentious motherfucker trying to shit on your dreams.

I don’t mean for this to devolve into the worst Ted Talk you’ve never heard but you’re going to have to be confident in yourself. If you aren’t because you’re new at writing, or you’re worried you’re not good enough to be published, or even if you’re done with your manuscripts but have received a couple of rejection letters- wherever you are in the process: It’s ok.

You’ve got a dream and you’re following it. It may not be happening as fast or as smoothly as you’d like but you’re still working on it. You’re doing something that few people set out to do in their lifetime. You’re expressing yourself creatively, sending a message, sharing a story.

Let that spark of creativity fuel you through those cold winter nights. Or, failing that, just imagine finishing your book and being able to ram a hardback copy up that snide commentators ass while telling them to watch out for papercuts (your choice).

In conclusion: don’t be a dick but don’t take no shit. Thank you for attending my Ted Ta- I mean see you next week.